Eternal Love
by theactonbell
Summary: Because really, how could one endure the tragical process of letting go of their true love? Skins Fire Canon. Major Character Death.


**A/N: Hello there lovely Skins people. Even though I have been silently roaming this fandom for over 5 years, this is my first attempt at a Naomily centred piece. I know that my first one shot here deals with Skins Fire and it's aftermath, and even if this might be pretty risky, I'll try it anyways. Haha. And to make it even worse, it's very angsty, so if you rather want to ignore Fire and the topic of Naomi's death, don't read this.**

 **However, I hope that the people, that still want to give this a try, enjoy it. I would love to hear if you do. :)**

* * *

Sighing, you close your eyes and move further into the weak comfort of your pillow. The warm fabric soothes your still burning cheeks. It had been a long day, an excruciatingly tough one. Honestly, if someone asked you how on god's earth you had survived this, then you wouldn't have had an answer.

Because really, how could one endure the tragical process of letting go of their true love? _Forever?_

The funeral today had been the worst part of everything. Because starting now, it would always be only memories that would guide through your day.

* * *

Ever since you had come back from New York for her, both of you had been constantly confronted by the terrible and ghastly topic of death. Of losing each other. Of giving up the wonderful fantasy of a joint future. Yet, knowing that Naomi was still there, talking about these things with you was somewhat comforting. Because you could still feel her love for you.

Her _eternal_ _love_ for you.

You remember the last time you made her laugh. It was two days before she passed away. The way her eyes had shone so brightly, so healthy, had taken your breath away. You had kissed her then and for one short instant you couldn't help but let the fragile branches of hope spread in your heart.

But in the next moment the air was full of frightening coughs again and you could literally feel the young branches die and fall down into your stomach, scratching it and making it tight. Filling it up with sickening fear.

You stayed with her, never leaving her side. Even when they moved her back to Gina's house in Bristol. You couldn't ever leave her. But being in the old house, the house that held so many memories for both of you, was hard. Sometimes, after Naomi had fallen asleep, you weren't able to hold in the tears anymore. And for a few moments you would experience the painful reality of her absence. Of the endless hurt it caused you.

The times in which she was awake, you would try to stay normal. _For her._ Because you could see the fear in her eyes every time, the dreadful pain she was feeling every second. The worst part was that you couldn't help her, couldn't ease the pain, no matter how often you caressed her fragile skin, kissed her lips gently, or told her how beautiful she still was to you.

She would smile then and try to reciprocate, but you knew that your effort was never enough. Sometimes she would even be strong enough to speak. "Emily", she would say, or a quiet "Love you". Her voice was far from the angelic, clear voice you had initially fallen in love with all these years ago. It was rough and hoarse and hard to understand, but you loved her anyway.

You would always love her, too.

You would never forget the day she was taken away from you. It was a Thursday mid October. The night before had been exceptionally tough for Naomi, who had been crying and groaning from the continuously growing pain. "Please, let this be over, please, please!" Gina had called the hospital immediately and a nurse had come by and increased her dose so that she could at least fall asleep.

As you looked at her peaceful and sleeping form, it was the first time you felt that the end was near. That this was going to be the final chapter of your story together. Because Naomi was finally at the point of giving up. You didn't resent her for giving up, no, but it broke your heart. It broke your heart to see your formerly headstrong and tough Naomi so broken and weak.

Sleep wasn't an option that night, you were too weary of missing even the slightest alteration of her condition, and when the early morning sky changed its hue from dark blue to pink, you noticed how her breathing pattern had slowly become more and more erratic. This dreadful discovery sharpened your senses instantly and you caressed her cheek in order to calm her down. "Shh, my love.. I'm here." She opened her eyes and attempted to smile, but her need for air was too strong, so that her smile rather looked like a pained grimace.

You took a deep breath leaned down and pressed a light kiss to her sweating forehead. You tried your best at savouring the feeling of her warm skin against your dry lips, but knowing that this probably was one of the last times you would feel it underneath you, _alive,_ caused hot tears to escape your eyes and fall onto her ashen face. It was the first time you cried openly in front of her since you had returned to Bristol.

Quickly, you wiped away the treacherous traces of your tears on her features and leaned back to look at her. Naomi's eyes were closed again, her skin almost translucent. Each shallow breath caused her facial muscles to clench and her frail body to rise.

The time had come.

Hesitantly, you moved back towards her ear, wanting to speak last words of comfort and love. "It's going to be okay. I love you, Naomi. I always will. I promise you, pretty girl." Suddenly, you felt something fiercely grip your wrist. It was her lean fingers. Silently yet with a slight smile gracing your lips, you removed them and cradled her small hand in your palm.

You turned your gaze back to her face, pausing at the sight of radiant blue looking back at you. Surprisingly, her gaze was clear, calm. Almost human again. Her eyes pierced through your own and you could feel their heat, the love that was transported to you. You started crying again.

"I love you…love you so much. Naomi…I'm sorry…I…I didn't…do enough." Words were sputtered in irregular intervals, not making any sense anymore. But you didn't care, you were losing her. This was much harder than you had thought because seeing the light in her eyes slowly but surely fade, made panic rise in you.

She was leaving you. And you couldn't do anything against it. _Nothing._

Sobbing, you began to pepper thousands of kisses on each sliver of skin you could reach, but a sudden lurch of her chest made you pause. You rushed back to where her head was placed and saw her hands clutch the bedspreads with brutal force. "E…Em…Em…ly."

Your eyes widened at her attempt of saying your name. "Yes? What is it, love?" But the answer never came because in that moment her body relaxed and the strained expression on her face made way to a calm and serene one. Her eyes closed and you heard one last and quiet gust of air leave the depths of mouth, before she became completely still.

She was gone. _Forever._

* * *

Your eyes fly open after that last memory and you feel how the tears are starting to form again. Everything burns and you will yourself to stay strong and hold in the tears, but your attempt is to no avail. Your heart hurts too much.

You break down. For the first time since her death.

Sobbing, whimpering and crying, it all comes together and you have to pull at your sheets for even the smallest of reliefs. It is only now, in the dark solace of your bed, that reality hits you. The harsh reality of being alone, having to start a life without your anchor.

Time is of no importance to you and it's already turning light again when you finally calm down. Your body aches for sleep, but your mind is far from giving in. The feelings and memories are too strong, breaking in to your heart, tearing it apart. The intensity of the pain makes you clutch desperately at the fabric of your shirt.

The pig shirt.

It was one of the only things you had wanted to keep after going through Naomi's stuff with Gina. The pig shirt and her green sweater. Obviously, the memory behind this choice was clear. The lake. The first time you got to worship Naomi in the way you had wanted to for so long. The first time she had truly reciprocated your advances. The beginning of your story.

It still smells of her, but at the moment you couldn't say if that was a soothing or agonising aspect. Her smell becomes too much, so you pull it over your head and lay it on the pillow in front of you. You find all the small holes and worn places that had been the consequence of the countless times you both had worn it, and you can't help but let a tentative and small smile grace your features.

The first one in days.

It feels good, relieving, to know that not everything connected to her only evokes tears and pain. Somehow, it feels like this here could be the first step into the life after her, yet at the same time also _with_ her. _With her memories._

Because you loved her. Still love her. Always will love her. No matter what happens. You plant a soft kiss on the pig's nose and settle next to it. "I love you, Naomi." The words touch the air with a certainty and finality that you haven't used in a very long time. Still, it doesn't surprise you because Naomi had been the only thing in your life that you were absolutely sure about, regardless of the bumps you had encountered in your relationship.

She had always been your everything.

A loud yawn escapes your lips, and for the first time you let yourself surrender to the strong feeling of tiredness. You close your eyes, but this time it is a smiling Naomi that greets you on the other side. You feel the small branches of hope regrowing in your heart and you take her hand, and together you walk towards the horizon, towards unknown future.

You know that in your heart, she will live on. Your memories of her will keep her alive. Your love for her will keep her with you.

 _Because Naomi is your eternal love._

* * *

 **Thank you for taking your time reading this. Really means a lot!**

 **Any thoughts?**

 **Have a nice day,**

 **A.**


End file.
